“I still feel the same way as I felt earlier, honey. And believe me I have always felt the same and have never tried to play numbers on you. Will you be mine again? Only if you wish to. You just have to take one step further and trust me.”
And guess what the reply came as spontaneously as it could ever get. “No”, she said in a very known low pitch voice wearing a melancholic smile. It felt like the divine arrow I had shot to pour down the rain of love in my otherwise deserted life was a misfire and in fact had hit me millions times fiercely.
I simply turned back and walked away. Smiling as if consoling myself that it wasn’t me who talked to her. Maybe someone did love her more. I walked out of the mall and took my car and drove as fast as I could. I was smiling may be at myself. OMG I was being a gross. I hated myself for a while but after that it was alright. only for a moment. As it has been for the last eight long years. Not a single day has passed that I haven’t missed her. Not a single achievement of mine has gone celebrated without being shared with her what if only in memories. I still walk with the same passport size photograph of hers in my wallet because I didn’t find anyone better. Its not that I didn’t try. I tried to move on and found going impossible. Every girl I dated was different and of course great. But none of them was like my WONDERGIRL.
I stopped at a place unknown to me. I tried to breathe easy and tried to hide the tears of a clown. Remembering some of the golden days of my life. Every single kiss that set my soul on vibrations, every single glimpse of her majestic beauty that had a aura of its own, every single movie that I saw with her seemed more meaningful, every single moment that we had together was like playing in front of my eyes. The more I tried to console myself more I got entangled in the clutches of her memories. It was like having no way out. I cried as usual as harder as I tried not to.
I decided that there is only one single way to get out of this. I drove harder and rushed to a liquor store at the end of the lane. Took a full JD. And called up some of my closest of pals and told them to come at my place and we would have a blast. Of course I didn’t tell them what exactly happened today as I left sharing things to anybody way back since she left me.
I sometimes ponder over this that I have real high profile job that million people would die for, I have a long smashing car which is high on the wish-list of anyone, I have a big house, I have a number of friends and some of then are really true fellahs. But still why I miss having that special some one.
Anyway I was on my way back home. The speedometer ticked as fast as it could. This song of Rehat Fateh Ali khan ‘ KINNA SOHNA TENU RAB NE BANAYA, JI KARE WEKHDA RAWA…’…..was playing on full volume.
The more I tried to run faster the more I felt being ensnared in her memories. OMG what is happening to me. Why am i shivering
I wish my epitaph read,
‘BABY I LOVED YOU, I WAS JUST A MATTER OF TRUST. ALWAYS BE HAPPY. I AM WATCHING YOU FROM SOMEWHERE’